Buick Open Player Rankings

Expect weak fields the next two out of three weeks (with Tiger's tournament next week the only exception) as players get ready for the British Open. This week also provides the smallest purse of the year at $4.9 million. Get excited, it's the Buick Open! Set your lineups accordingly:

1. Bo Van Pelt
2. Scott Verplank
3. Jim Furyk
4. Sean O'Hair
5. Kenny Perry
6. Corey Pavin
7. Billy Mayfair
8. Peter Lonard
9. Fred Funk
10. Ryan Moore
11. Tom Pernice, Jr.
12. Rod Pampling
13. Robert Allenby
14. J. J. Henry
15. Chris DiMarco
16. Harrison Frazar
17. Joey Sindelar
18. Lucas Glover
19. Charles Howell III
20. Mark Hensby
21. Ryuji Imada
22. Daniel Chopra
23. Joe Ogilvie
24. Heath Slocum
25. Trevor Immelman

One week busts: Steve Marino, Darren Clarke, John Rollins, John Senden, Woody Austin

US Open Player Rankings

There is already talk among the players that this US Open is going to be ridiculously difficult (Vijay has predicted a winning score of +10). I expect several of the top players to struggle and a lot of random Europeans and other FGA players drafted in the late rounds to be near the top of the leaderboard the first couple of days. In the end, this tournament is set up for Goosen to win another title. Set your lineups accordingly:

1. Retief Goosen
2. Scott Verplank
3. Tim Clark
4. Rocco Mediate
5. Tiger Woods
6. Stewart Cink
7. Arron Oberholser
8. Ian Poulter
9. David Toms
10. Robert Allenby
11. Justin Rose
12. Paul Casey
13. Kenneth Ferrie
14. Tim Herron
15. Sergio Garcia
16. Steve Stricker
17. Zach Johnson
18. Bo Van Pelt
19. K.J. Choi
20. Colin Montgomerie
21. Henrik Stenson
22. Jose Maria Olazabal
23. Lucas Glover
24. Luke Donald
25. Aaron Baddeley

One week busts: Vijay Singh, Adam Scott, Jim Furyk, Phil Mickelson, Geoff Ogilvy

Stanford St. Jude Player Rankings

The Commish's player rankings are back this week after missing the Memorial (the short week really screwed me up). Memphis is serving as the tune-up for the US Open next week, so we get a glimpse of who is playing well heading into the FGA season's second major. Set your lineups accordingly:

1. Padraig Harrington
2. Jose Maria Olazabal
3. John Senden
4. David Toms
5. Vijay Singh
6. Tom Pernice, Jr.
7. Sean O'Hair
8. Robert Allenby
9. Briny Baird
10. Camillo Villegas
11. Stuart Appleby
12. Jeff Maggert
13. Fredrik Jacobson
14. Nathan Green
15. Retief Goosen
16. Brett Quigley
17. Richard S. Johnson
18. Vaughn Taylor
19. Bob Estes
20. Joe Durant
21. Brian Gay
22. Scott Verplank
23. Justin Leonard
24. Tim Herron
25. Shaun Micheel

One week busts: Sergio Garcia, Loren Roberts, Geoff Ogilvy, D. J. Trahan, Bubba Watson

Colonial Player Rankings

The Commish gained some respect with the out-of-left field prediction of Briny Baird last week, but I also hit on several other top-10 picks, including Zach Johnson, Jonathan Byrd, Camillo Villegas and Henrik Stenson (and successfully predicted all five players who missed the cut in one week busts!). This week, the Colonial produced a better than expected field despite only one top-10 player making the trip for a Funky Town Freebie. Look for some old veterans to make their way to the top of the leaderboard. Here are this week's player rankings.

1. Bob Estes
2. Fred Funk
3. Nathan Green
4. Jeff Maggert
5. Ken Duke
6. Rod Pampling
7. Jim Furyk
8. Stephen Ames
9. David Toms
10. Chad Campbell
11. Nick O'Hern
12. Stewart Cink
13. KJ Choi
14. Peter Lonard
15. Steve Stricker
16. Trevor Immelman
17. Mark Calcavecchia
18. J.J. Henry
19. Anthony Kim
20. Jonathan Byrd
21. Kenny Perry
22. DL III
23. Justin Leonard
24. Bo Van Pelt
25. John Senden

One week busts: Lucas Glover, Jerry Kelly, Tim Herron, Scott Verplank, John Rollins

AT&T Classic Player Rankings

It's an unofficial rule in fantasy golf that whenever you have two consecutive weeks with stellar fields, two consecutive weeks with limited fields are sure to follow. So after the Wachovia Championship and The Players, we have a test to see which teams are the deepest and/or who can add/drop better than the rest. The player rankings for the AT&T Classic (set your lineups accordingly):

1. Stewart Cink
2. Rory Sabbatini
3. Zach Johnson
4. Camillo Villegas
5. Jonathan Byrd
6. Henrik Stenson
7. Charles Howell III
8. J.J. Henry
9. Chris DiMarco
10. Tim Clark
11. Fredrik Jacobson
12. Vaughn Taylor
13. Nick O'Hern
14. Peter Lonard
15. Shaun Micheel
16. Kevin Sutherland
17. Briny Baird
18. Bob Estes
19. Will MacKenzie
20. David Toms
21. Richard S. Johnson
22. Ryan Palmer
23. Jason Bohn
24. Boo Weekley
25. Brian Gay

One week busts: Kyle Reifers, Steve Flesch, Brett Quigley, Heath Slocum, Kenny Perry

THE PLAYERS Player Rankings

THE PLAYERS Championship is a rare example of an event that did not evolve organically, but which was created purely to serve a corporate bottom line, but which nonetheless has become a legitimate top-tier institution to rival the old line Majors. Indeed, the PGA TOUR would love to have the event considered a Major. Trouble is, there is no organization that officially declares what is and is not a Major. That is decided based on media and popular consensus. However, given the event's $8 million purse, top of the line field, spectacular course, and new spot on the calendar in May between the Masters and U.S. Open, I predict the event will become considered as a de facto fifth Major in the next five to ten years. This would especially be the case if the European Tour makes the event an official stop on its tour as it does with the Masters and the U.S. Open. This may be unlikely given the event is owned and operated by the PGA TOUR, but the Open Championship is a stop on the U.S. Tour and it's owned and operated by the R&A. Then again, that would make 4 out of 5 U.S. Major, and the Eurotrash probably wouldn't like that. But F them...

Turning now to my player ranking in the Commish's absence...It's a top of the line field and everyone should be breaking out the big guns this week:

1) Tiger Woods
2) Stuart Appleby
3) Jerry Kelly
4) Vijay Singh
5) Adam Scott
6) Henrik Stenson
7) Geoff Ogilvy
8) Phil Mickelson
9) Fred Funk
10) Luke Donald
11) Trevor Immelman
12) Ian Poulter
13) Anthony Kim
14) Mark Calcavecchia
15) Tim Clark
16) Rory Sabbatini
17) Stephen Ames
18) Ernie Els
19) Rod Pampling
20) Steve Stricker
21) Sergio Garcia
22) Vaughn Taylor
23) Zach Johnson
24) Jim Furyk
25) Charles Howell III

BUSTS: Brett Wetterich, Colin Montgomerie, Darren Clarke, Padraig Harrington, Kent Jones, D.J. Trahan, Jeff Sluman, Jose Coceres, Chris Couch, Joey Sindelar.

Turning now to the FGA's favorite "lady friend"...
Question of the Week: Rachel McAdams blonde or brunette?

Vote by commenting below! It's free and you don't have to sign up or nothing, just click "Anonymous" when you post your comment.

Wachovia Championship player rankings

The Commish is starting to hit his stride on player rankings and one week busts with more hits than misses. You may want to pay close attention this week. The following is the player rankings for the Wachovia Championship:

1. Vaughn Taylor
2. Davis Love III
3. Luke Donald
4. Tiger Woods
5. Geoff Ogilvy
6. Zach Johnson
7. Phil Mickelson
8. Trevor Immelman
9. Ernie Els
10. Nathan Green
11. Rod Pampling
12. Carl Pettersson
13. Adam Scott
14. Ian Poulter
15. Stuart Appleby
16. Vijay Singh
17. Jerry Kelly
18. Lucas Glover
19. Jim Furyk
20. Scott Verplank
21. Retief Goosen
22. K.J. Choi
23. Nick O'Hern
24. Aaron Baddeley
25. Dean Wilson

One week busts: Anthony Kim, Jose Maria Olazabal, David Howell, Stewart Cink, Henrik Stenson

Lunch With Lefty

Phil kidnapping a little girl and threatening her with a trophy.

Phil Mickelson missed Wednesday's Pro-Am because he was stuck in Little Rock, Arkansas by weather in Dallas. Did he not trust his ability to pilot his Gulfstream through stormy weather? Why worry? Who have planes killed besides JFK, Jr., Buddy Holly, former Secretary of Transportation Ron Brown, and Payne Stewart? He got in late, so instead of playing golf with his amateur partners, he took them to lunch. I wonder what they talked about? Possible topics:

• His fabulous wealth
• His amazingly hot wife
• His Gulfstream
• How he became a pilot
• Which is better: Karate or Ninjitsu? (Hint, it's ninjitsu, in which Phil is no doubt a black belt...a black so dark, light cannot escape its surface)
• Whether his man boobs are composed of subcutaneous fat or the other kind.
• How to change your sweat soaked polo on the turn in less than twenty seconds.
• Q&A! Rules: The only Qs must be about Phil and how great he is. The only As will be in the affirmative.
• Interesting facts about our meal! Did you know farm raised salmon is actually worse for the environment? Do you know how many calories are in a butter packet? Do you know how mayonnaise is made? Phil knows the answers to all these questions and many more.

I hope one of his amateur partners knew the Heimlich maneuver, because I'm sure at some point during the meal...(wait for it)...Phil CHOKED!

EDS Byron Nelson Championship player rankings

1. Vijay Singh
2. Ian Poulter
3. Luke Donald
4. Sean O'Hair
5. Anthony Kim
6. Chad Campbell
7. Stuart Appleby
8. Sergio Garcia
9. Charles Howell III
10. Jesper Parnevik
11. John Rollins
12. Carl Petterson
13. Phil Mickelson
14. Ryan Moore
15. J.J. Henry
16. Rod Pampling
17. Nick O'Hern
18. Robert Allenby
19. Jason Bohn
20. Justin Leonard
21. Brett Wetterich
22. John Senden
23. Shaun Micheel
24. Scott Verplank
25. Stephen Leaney

One week busts: Mike Weir, Peter Lonard, Billy Mayfair, Jerry Kelly, Ted Purdy

You Know Your Tournament Sucks If...

• ...Vance Veazey withdraws because he doesn't want to miss a re-run of The Shawshank Redemption scheduled for Friday on TBS.
• ...Jaco Van Zyl is skipping your tournament to attend an NBA Developmental League game.
• ...John Daly is not playing, and it's held in friggin' New Orleans, Louisiana!
• ...D.A. Points is electing not to attend because "he has better things to do."
• ...S.S.P. Chowrasia would "rather eat sacred, holy beef" than attend your tournament.
• ...Arjun Atwal wouldn't attend even if he was sixty miles away in a BMW M5 and thirty minutes late for his tee time.
• ...Calcavacchia is playing, but plans on being drunk on Yukon Jack the hole time and promises to use his driver on every shot.
• ...Tim Herron is skipping the event despite the complimentary mashed potato martini bar.
• ...Chris Couch is your defending champion.
• ...your trophy is a comic strip caveman.
• ...it is held opposite the 84 Lumber Classic.
• ...Fred Couples had a ninja hit his back with nun-chuks "just to make sure" it was in too bad a shape to play.
• ...Chris DiMarco withdraws despite a guarantee that he'll finish second.
• ...Camilo Villegas isn't playing despite your offer of all the hookers and blow he could handle.
• ...Paul Azinger said he'd rather get cancer again than play in it.
• ...Brian Gay thinks your tournament is kind of gay.
• ...Shingo Katayama is skipping the event even though you said you'd find a Japanese schoolgirl to kick him in the nuts and vomit on him every night.
• ...The Golf Channel decides to cover that week's Nationwide event instead.
  

Zurich Classic Player Rankings

Looking at the field for this week's Zurich Classic of New Orleans, it's tough to come up with a top-25 list. When David Toms, the 19th-ranked player in the world headlines the field, you know your tournament is in trouble.

1. Sean O'Hair
2. Nathan Green
3. Steve Stricker
4. David Toms
5. Kevin Sutherland
6. Lucas Glover
7. Fred Funk
8. Charley Hoffman
9. Stephen Leaney
10. Will Mackenzie
11. Shaun Micheel
12. Bo Van Pelt
13. Nick Watney
14. Anthony Kim
15. Charles Warren
16. Mark Calcavecchia
17. Steve Flesch
18. Kenny Perry
19. Joe Ogilvie
20. Daniel Chopra
21. Daisuke Maruyama
22. Bob Estes
23. Bubba Watson
24. Brandt Snedeker
25. Jesper Parnevik

One week busts: Shigeki Maruyama, Joe Durant, Jeff Maggert, Boo Weekley, Chris DiMarco

The Commish probably has lost some credibility (whatever little I had left) after leaving Zach Johnson on my bench last week and ranking Robert Allenby second overall in last week's player rankings. However, the season is still early and I have time to redeem myself. Here are the player rankings for this week's Verizon Heritage:

1. Davis Love III
2. Jim Furyk
3. Stewart Cink
4. Aaron Baddeley
5. Lucas Glover
6. Geoff Ogilvy
7. Vaughn Taylor
8. Ernie Els
9. Trevor Immelman
10. Justin Rose
11. Peter Lonard
12. Charles Warren
13. Nick O'Hern
14. Nathan Green
15. Zach Johnson
16. Chris DiMarco
17. Stephen Ames
18. Rich Beem
19. Brian Gay
20. Jeff Maggert
21. Dean Wilson
22. Tim Clark
23. Bo Van Pelt
24. Mark Calcavecchia
25. Anthony Kim

One week busts: Chad Campbell, John Daly, Camilo Villegas, Brett Wetterich, Sean O'Hair

Joaquin Phoenix Wins Masters! (Commish's Picks Revisited)

Get this guy some Propecia.

Mitch Cumsteins: Commish said - #1, Actual finish - #4
Problem: The Cumsteins' favorites, CHIII and Adam Scott, played pretty dismally. Friday was a bad day for all the Cumsteins, as his dainty, frail, effete, Euro-trash mama's boys proved they can't handle bad weather. CH3 was actually blown off the tee box on three by a stiff breeze. Wetterich, the Cumsteins' Zach Johnson, looked to make a mockery of the owner's management capabilities, but thankfully tanked on the weekend. He started his best guys, they just didn't get it done.

Single and Hammered: Commish said #2, Actual Finish - #3
Pretty accurate pick here. Woods and Appleby together made Toby look like the favorite going into Sunday. Too bad Olazabal and Weir, with three green jackets between them looked like they were having a "who can count higher" contest on the weekend.

Smoke Porterhouse: Commish said #3, Actual Finish - #7
Problem: Ogilvy. This guy was two blowup holes away from finishing +4, as it was, he ended up +11. Anyone who saw his 9 on Sunday missed something truly awful and awesome. Take 7 strokes off Joe's score, and he drops to... 75.35. Okay, so maybe Ogilvy wasn't the only problem. David Howell and DL3 started strong and went downhhill from there. Never bet on a guy who wears Oakley blades or a guy who is "the third." This also applies to Henrik Stenson and CHIII, (see above).

CESS: Commish said #4, Actual Finish #1
Problem: None. Rose and Goosen really lifted Clif here. They both played lights out all weekend. Goosen played probably the best round of the tournament on Saturday considering the conditions. Pampling was reliable if not remarkable, and Phil didn't have any egregious scores even if his effort was less than hoped for. This is a very dangerous lineup for the rest of this year as the Commish noted.

Varmint Cong: Commish said #5, Actual Finish #8
Problem: Many. As the Commish said, this team was under the radar. Problem was it stayed there. Ernie Else missing the cut really hurt the VC, but Badds' 80 on Sunday was like Operation Linbacker II, causing heavy casualties to the VC all along the Ho Chi Minh Trail.

Stewie's Revenge: Commish said #8, Actual Finish #2
This was the dark horse team this week by far. He lost his worst player to the cut (Campbell) in a perfect example of stopping the bleeding. Harrington played great golf each round after Thursday's opening 77, and Toms and Vijay both held their own on Sunday, to lift the team to a solid second place finish. The Commish noted that these guys are inconsistent and capable of finishing first or last. He just guessed wrong. Congratulations, StewRev.

Sandbaggin' S.O.B.s: Picked #7, finished #8
The Commish had this about right. Whether his team is "built" more for the U.S. Open is questionable, as this Masters played like a U.S. Open, but the Sonsabitches weren't helped by Aaron Oberholser's Scientology EMP backpack malfunctioning, causing him to blow up with an 84 on Saturday. That sealed his fate. As was noted, he would've been #4 had he started ZJ instead.

Thhhhhhhhhhhhsundah!: Picked #6, Actual Finish: #5
Pretty accurate pick here, so not much to say, except this team looked like it was going to run away with it after Friday, with Clark and Donald playing well. Immelman did some damage to this team on Saturday and Verplank's mediocre performance didn't do him any favors. Just didn't get it done.

If you haven't done so, please check out the Michelle Wie video at the bottom of the page. It's truly awesome. I think one of the guys cheering her on actually says, "Thhhhhhhhhsundah!" when she hits the gong.

Masters FGA Predictions

Commish's picks:

1. Justin - If Howell III doesn't choke from all of the pressure, this team should win. Scott and Stenson perfect for Augusta.
2. Toby - As he said, three former champions on his team. But this team will only win the DiMarco award (second place).
3. Joe - Great Masters lineup. Ogilvy and Allenby ready to win here.
4. Clif - Will be a dangerous team in every major with this lineup. Even Pampling plays well here.
5. Jake - Under the radar team could easily surprise this week. All starters playing well now.
6. Jason - Donald, Clark, Verplank... shorter hitters could struggle here.
7. Doug - This team will win a major this year, just not the Masters. Built more for the US Open or PGA.
8. Evan - Inconsistent starters capable of finishing first or last. I'm going with last place this week on a hunch.

Masters Player Rankings

Welcome to a new blog feature! Each week (time permitting), I will post my player rankings for the upcoming PGA Tour tournament. Most websites only give you five favorites (and invariably, you always get Tiger, Phil, Vijay, etc.), which does little to help you set your lineups. I will post my top-25 players for each week in order and five potential busts to watch out for. Here it is, my Masters rankings:

1. Tiger Woods
2. Robert Allenby
3. Adam Scott
4. Phil Mickelson
5. Vijay Singh
6. Henrik Stenson
7. Ernie Els
8. Geoff Ogilvy
9. Trevor Immelman
10. Chris DiMarco
11. KJ Choi
12. Luke Donald
13. Charles Howell III
14. Jose Maria Olazabal
15. Stewart Cink
16. Padraig Harrington
17. Sergio Garcia
18. Rod Pampling
19. Aaron Baddeley
20. Shaun Micheel
21. Mike Weir
22. Ian Poulter
23. Retief Goosen
24. Arron Oberholser
25. Nick O'Hern

One week busts: Jim Furyk, David Toms, Chad Campbell, Lucas Glover, Tim Clark

Commissioner's Preseason Rankings

Despite all of the distractions at the Hotel Del Coronado (i.e., beach, sunset, margaritas), I think everyone had a really good draft. I can't wait to see how this season plays out because I think there is a lot of parity. It seems every year that one team runs away with the money list title, but I think this could be the first year where several teams are in contention until the very end.
That being said, the annual Commissioner's Preseason Rankings are below. Keep in mind that last season I predicted Joe to finish first and Jake to finish last. So what happened? Of course, Jake wins easily and Joe captures DFL.

Commissioner's 2007 Preseason Rankings:

1. Clif - The kiss of death from the Commish. Still stunned from his FFL Championship game loss, he turns in the best draft. Strong in the majors with Mickelson and Goosen, and solid through the middle rounds with Pampling, Rose and Taylor.
2. Evan - A very good top-4 if Singh continues his current form, but Campbell is always a wild card. A couple of late round selections will probably be dropped in the first month and additions could determine whether he has a good or great season.
3. Doug - Potentially very good top-3 and solid mid-round selections. Question marks include whether Furyk plays as well as last year and DiMarco returning from a disappointing 2006
4. Justin - Several questions for this team, but should be good enough to contend. Can Scott live up to #1 overall status? Howell III has been best player of 2007 so far, but will it last? How will Stenson do in first full season in the US?
5. Jason - Will be a very good team. Lacking only a true #1, but turns in great draft from top to versatile bottom. Immelman will be this year's Ogilvy and may have found sleepers in Moore, Matteson and Kim.
6. Jake - Defending champion puts together solid squad. Top-4 look good, but downgraded because of a few questionable mid-round picks. Masterful in add/drop last year and may need to be again.
7. Joe - Last year's cellar dweller looks to rebound. Ogilvy should continue to play as well as other top picks, and Allenby and Love III round out a very good top-3. I'll be surprised if Perry has anything left to contribute, and rolled the dice with several Euros.
8. Toby - Shocked to see Woods still on the board at #3, might have thrown off his draft strategy. Reached for Appleby at #2 and Green at #3, but made several good late round picks.

The Masters Field

The field for the Masters is set! No surprises, as the field was unofficially set following the conclusion of last weekend's CA Championship, but an FGA controversy as Jeev Milka Singh gets invited, but S.S.P. Chowrasia is once again left off the list. Twenty-five players will be playing at Augusta for the first time, although Masters rookies rarely fair well. A full Masters preview will be forthcoming next week, including player and FGA team rankings.

Get ready for San Diego! Hopefully your golf games and draft boards are ready for the biggest FGA weekend ever.

Check out this website

I'm constantly searching for a website that provides good information on fantasy golf and I think I finally found a decent one. In the interest of fairness, I'm even going to tell you about it. It's the fantasy golf section in the USA Today online. It provides good information on who is playing well and who isn't, who is injured, and when players withdraw or are disqualified from a tournament, it actually explains what happened (when that information is available). I highly recommend bookmarking this site and checking it out periodically each week for new details. The link is below:

http://fantasygolf.usatoday.com/content/homesport.asp?sport=GOL

-The Commish

2007 FGA Rules

The FGA Rules Committee has been meeting for the past two months to discuss potential rule changes for the 2007 FGA Season. The Rules Committee takes its job very seriously and we have spent countless hours on this (honestly, you would not believe the number of conference calls, emails and hours of research). We all think the league works very well, but we're always thinking of ways to make it better. I will not spend time discussing the rule change proposals that were ultimately rejected, but I will say there are a few proposals we will be monitoring throughout this season and that could be implemented in 2008. Here are summaries of the two rule changes going into effect for the 2007 FGA Season:

(1) Add/Drop. The maximum number of add/drops per team each week is being increased from 2 to 4. The FGA Historian believes we initially set the limit at 2 to encourage better drafting of players (i.e., drafting more players who play each week) and to prevent teams from overhauling their rosters week in and week out. This has created a situation at times where teams are left shorthanded, mostly in the smaller tournaments, and are unable to make the necessary add/drops required to field a team. We looked at a number of solutions and decided this was the best. First, we have all gotten very good at drafting. Second, if teams with only one or zero players in the field want to try to field a team, they should be encouraged to do so, thereby potentially reducing missed cuts. Finally, we believe this rule will also create a more interesting add/drop each week with more quality free agents and also provide more opportunites for teams at the bottom of the standings to pick up players who could really help them.

(2) Alternate Player. This proposal caused the most debate among the Rules Committee. However, we came to a unanimous decision that the Alternate Player will now be substituted for (i) any WD prior to the completion of the first round, and (ii) any DQ at any time. This change is the result of trying to make the Alternate Player more relevant, while also keeping the system intrinsically fair. Previously, once a player started play, the Alternate Player could no longer be substituted for a player who WDs. Players rarely WD prior to starting play, so the Alternate Player was becoming almost obsolete. We are now allowing an Alternate Player to be substituted for a player who begins his first round, but does not complete his first round. This mostly accounts for players who injure themselves during first round play, which actually happens frequently. We did not believe this rule should be extended and apply to players who complete their first round, but who WD because they shoot a terrible first round score and have no chance to make the cut (i.e., we didn't want to reward a team whose starter shoots an 84, drops out, and substitutes an Alternate Player who finishes in the top-10.) We also believe that a WD and a DQ are different and should be treated differently. In keeping with the PGA rules, we believe that when a player DQs, none of his rounds should count towards his FGA team's score. For example, if a player played four rounds and signs the wrong scorecard resulting in a DQ, there were previously no FGA repercussions because all four rounds would still count towards a team's score (however, in the PGA, that player's score would not count and he would not receive prize money). Now, an Alternate Player would be substituted for such player under those circumstances and the Alternate Player's score would count. I think this rule change is consistent with the PGA rules, has equal opportunity to either help or hurt a team depending on the circumstances, creates excitement, and makes the Alternate Player more relevant.

I will send an email with a copy of the Official 2007 FGA Rules incorporating the new rules for your review. If you have any questions about the rule changes, please let me know.

-The Commish

Point-Counterpoint The Wop Genius

SECOND PLACE! FUCK YEAH!

Back with another installment of Pount-Cointerpount, where me and The Commish conspire to drag our beloved PGA stars through the mud. This week, Chris DiMarco, a.k.a. The Wop Genius.

The Commish:

TWG is always one of the more difficult players to rank on my draft board. He's clearly a top-25 player, but the question is always how high should he go? TWG's FGA career has been filled with tons of top-10s and top-25s, including the majors, but he has no wins in that time. TWG has never been considered an elite player, more of an over-achiever. He is one of the shorter drivers on Tour and he's not afraid to miss cuts in bunches. However, I do rank him as the number one Italian-sounding-name-golfer, ahead of the likes of Rory Sabbatini, David Berganio, Jr., and Daisuke Maruyama. FGA members have drafted him as high as 9th (2006) and as low as 22nd (2004), showing that most of us don't really know where to place him. I've always thought that he's a solid late second round or early third round pick. He's too inconsistent to go higher than that. He'll likely end up on my draft board somewhere between 15-20.

And me:

Sack Lodge: What's the name of that P.I. we used to set up that Shearson Lehman prick?

Trapster: The big sleazy, Tommy Gufano! He's a wop genius.
Hell yeah, he is. Always that date rapee, and never the date rapist...

• The Wop Genius's career is littered with more number twos than Clark Kent's back yard after Super Dog gets into the baking chocolate.

• I haven't seen so many deuces since I went to www.ratemypoo.com

• Chris DiMarco: The 1990-1993 Buffalo Bills of the PGA.

• DiMarco and Jim Kelly could run a hundred yard dash and they would both come in second.

• Thomas Jefferson doesn't spend that much time next to the number two.

• What's the difference between DiMarco and Captain Ahab?
  ...Ahab only lost the big one once.

• What do Chris DiMarco's trophy case and Nicole Richie's stomach have in common?
  ...They're both empty.

• What's the difference between Chris DiMarco's trophy case and Nicole Richie's stomach?
  ...Half the guys in Hollywood haven't blown their load on Chris DiMarco's trophy case.
  

AND I'M OUT!

Thing I'll Never Do (Again) #203: Illegal Street Racing

Now, that's a drive down the fairway...(too soon?)

PGA non-star Arjun Atwal was involved in a wreck that killed a man with whom he was engaged in an illegal street race. His friend's Mercedes spun out and hit a tree, but Atwal swerved and his 2006 BMW M3 spun out onto a grassy lot, safely coming to a stop a few hundred feet away...

• ...Atwal's not a long hitter, but he can really drive.
• ...The sacred cow Atwal swerved to avoid reportedly survived.
• ...no word on whether Atwal was in fact speeding home to hit the toilet after downing a hot curry dish at The Bombay Kitchen in Orlando.
• ...TOO SOON!!! I know, I know...
  

Seriously, folks, he could be in deep legal doo-doo as street racing is illegal EVERYWHERE ON EARTH!

Daniel Chopra, who grew up with Atwal in India, (though Chopra is Swedish), stood up for his boy, saying he was "An excellent driver."

Well, so was Rain Man, at least he got an Oscar nomination! All Atwal got was a tie for 4th at the 2005 Buick Invitational.

Tip your waitress. Try the lobster. I'm here all week.

Oh, I almost forgot, Mark Calccchavecchia's reanimated corpse won the PODS Championship. Really? This guy must be purhing 60, 300 and .18 simultaneously... (Years, pounds and B.A.C., respectively). Truly amazing. Oh, and DiMarco choked.

Jake Gyllenhaal Wins LPGA Event

She doesn't know why she can't quit you.

Brokeback Mountain star Jake Gyllenhaal shocked the world by defeating Anika Sorenstam to win the Mastercard Classic in his LPGA Tour debut.

And to restore your faith in the female of the species...

The Argument Against Tiger

Since we're still three weeks away from our San Diego draft, I thought I would try to stir up debate on a topic that has gone largely unquestioned up until now. That is, I believe Tiger should not be the first overall pick in this year's draft.

Tiger is without question the best player in the world, so we all assume he should be the top pick. But in the FGA, we don't draft strictly according to World Ranking. If that were the case, Joe Durant would be a third round pick this year. Anyone taking Joe Durant in the third round?

We all have different things we look at when considering a draft pick. Typically, I believe we all generally consider the same factors: (i) number of tournaments played; (ii) cuts made; (iii) wins; (iv) top-10s; (v) top-25s; and (vi) major performance. There is no question that when Tiger plays, there is no one we would rather have on our team. Simply put, he wins more than anyone else. But is an FGA team better served by the top player who plays more often? Last year will be a good measuring stick for the upcoming season because the top players will likely play about the same number of tournaments. Tiger is again going to be playing a reduced schedule because of his impending fatherhood (last year it was his dad's death). Let's breakdown all of the contenders for the top spot based on the aforementioned factors:

(in order:
# played, # cuts made, wins, top-10s, top-25s, Masters, US, British, PGA)

T. Woods: 7, 6, 4, 6, 6, 3rd, MC, 1st, 1st
A. Scott: 10, 10, 0, 7, 9, 27th, 21st, 8th, 3rd
J. Furyk: 12, 11, 1, 7, 10, 22nd, 2nd, 4th, 29th
V. Singh: 12, 10, 1, 4, 5, 8th, 6th, MC, MC
Mickelson: 11, 10, 1, 3, 7, 1st, 2nd, 22nd, 16th
E. Els: 10, 10, 0, 3, 5, 27th, 26th, 3rd, 16th
R. Goosen: 10, 9, 0, 2, 4, 3rd, MC, 14th, 34th
G. Ogilvy: 11, 10, 1, 3, 7, 16th, 1st, 16th, 9th

All made more cuts than Tiger and all but Els and Goosen had more top-25s than Tiger last year. I would also argue based on all of this information that Scott and Furyk, and possibly even Ogilvy and Mickelson were more valuable to their teams than Tiger last year.

Also, let's look at the past results for the FGA teams that have drafted Tiger: 6th in 2003, 2nd in 2004, 5th in 2005, and 7th in 2006. That's only once in four years that a Tiger-led team finished in the top half of the FGA at the end of the season. Now, the first round draft picks that have led FGA teams to overall victory: Toms*, Mickelson, Furyk, and Els.

*The asterisk is because 4th round pick Kenny Perry was mostly responsible.

I admit that if given the top pick in this year's draft and the chance to draft Tiger, he still might be my pick. I will, however, say that it probably shouldn't be.

She's Got a Shape to Her, Conan...

Here's a picture of a homeless guy playing "Just the Tip" with Natalie Gulbis. Actually, it's her dad. Read a feature about Ms. Gulbis in Golf for Women here.

More importantly, some candid "behind the scenes" galleries can be found here, and here.

Speaking of women in golf, we all know about Ms. Gulbis, and Paula Creamer, but there's another young hottie on the LPGA named Erica Blasberg. She's an Arizona alumna, and though the looks like she might have a lazy eye in her LPGA photo, she, like Ms. Gulbis herself, can appear deceptively hot in the gallery section of her outrageously Flashy, teched-out website. You better have some serious bandwidth to view this site, but it's worth it to take the time to scroll through the pictures.

In PGA News, Mark "Who?" Wilson won the Honda Classic this morning in a four-man playoff with Jose Coceres, Camilo Villegas and Boo Weekely. If you're wondering where you've seen Mark Wilson's name before, it was probably when he finished T-43 at the 2000 Greater Milwaukee Open.

Twenty-year-old South African Anton Haig won the Johnny Walker Classic in sunny Phuket, Thailand in the last of the EuroTour/Asian Tour co-events. Another rising young star in the golf world who is not American. In case you're wondering, S.S.P. Chowrasia has fallen to 27th on the Asian Tour money list.

Sand in here, foam in here, somethin' in here.

Sometimes Natalie Gulbis looks overrated, and sometimes... sometimes... damn...

Anyway, here is a piece prescribing a cure for Match Play boredom. The problem: in single-elimination match play, they weekend doesn't always feature Tiger & FIGJAM, which is the only time most people (rubes) tune in to watch golf. Solution: Hold an LPGA match play event at the same time, doubling the chances of a compelling weekend match up. Compelling in the PGA = Tiger or Phil versus a flamboyant Euro with loud pants. Compelling in the LPGA = two of the new hot pieces of short-skirted femgolf action-gimme some Creamer and some Gulbis and hopefully not JoAnne Carner. (Seriously, check her out.) Then, to top it off, how about the 32 men and 32 women who were knocked out in the first round all square off in a coed consolation bracket. Does that sound awesome? Hmm....

Here's a fluff piece about the Honda Classic and the redone PGA National.

And this week's hot or not (not = American golf. If you don't believe me, look at the top 30 in the rankings after Nos. 1 through 3).

And Paula Creamer can't keep the stick out of her mouth...(I couldn't resist).

The Slowly Creeping Deadly Choking Fog

Jealous?

Well, Tiger is staking his claim in the nation's capital, (a.k.a. The DC/NOVA/SOMA Metrogasm). His charity, the eponymous Tiger Woods Foundation, is set to become the title sponsor and beneficiary of a new D.C-area tournament to be held in the Independence Day slot vacated by the now-defunct International. It is expected that Tiger will play the new tournament annually, although this year things are complicated by the birth of his human/Norse God hybrid offspring this summer. So, Tiger skips the International and it dies. Tiger announces he will play in a tournament in the Washington area and a new tournament is created overnight to replace the recently deceased Booz Allen.

Is this all just a precursor to the rumored Tiger Tour? Time will tell. After reading the article, my question is what does the Tiger Woods Foundation do exactly? If I had to guess it tutors children in the following areas of TW's expertise:

1) Excellence
2) Ultimacy
3) Worldwide domination
4) Global brand creation and enhancement
5) Golf
6) Norse Mythology, (in particular, study of the Norse Goddess Freyja)
7) Mind-boggling wealth
8) Super Yachts
9) Ass kicking
10) Name taking

Tiger Tour?

Tiger and a child molester.

Apparently rumors are circulating that Tiger Woods might leave the PGA Tour, and essentially play as a free agent on what would become the "Tiger Tour." The argument, as near as I can figure, goes that between all his sponsor's and past champion's exemptions, Tiger could continue to play in 14 events a year, including all four Majors, without being a member of the PGA Tour. He could then collect $$ from sponsors directly to woo him to any tournament he wants to play in. Essentially getting appearance fees to play in PGA Tour and Major events as he does now for tournaments in, say, Dubai or Russia. Does anyone think this could/would happen?? Comment below! (No need to register)

Here is an interesting article on why it won't happen. Strangely, it relies less on direct financial reasons and more on a general "feel" for Tiger's respect for the history of the game and the Tour....Is that enough? Bolstering this nay-saying view is the news that T.V. ratings are up for non-Tiger events this season.

On the other hand, here is an interesting bit on Tiger holding PGA Tour events hostage. This lends credence to the view that Tiger has enough sway to pull off this coup.

And, here is a nice ditty on Tiger's "streak" and its place in golf history.

Oh, and here's a projected draft board that bears no resemblance to what I really think will happen:

1) Tiger Woods
2) Vijay Singh
3) Phil Mickelson
4) Adam Scott
5) Geoff Ogilvy
6) Jim Furyk
7) Trevor Immelman
8) Henrik Stenson
9) Luke Donald
10) Sergio Garcia
11) Charles Howell III

Here's Sergio scamming on Henrik Stenson's girlfriend and some random Spanish lass.

White Hot Match Play Action

Nerd.

Well, Match Play is all but over, and I won't dwell on the results, except to point out some stellar performers that we should all keep on our mind on as draft day approaches:

Baddeley, Rose, Howell III, Casey, Poulter, Campbell, Ames, Cink and Micheel all performed very well, and have played well to date this year. Some of them may play more than others, but an important FGA factor to remember is that last season's inconsistent rookie (Baddeley) could turn into this season's breakout star (Baddeley). Players improve and players fade away. So, as they say in the investment world, past returns are no guarantee of future results.

Here is a very interesting feature on Justin Rose, who is calling his shot--Babe Ruth style--by predicting a breakout year for himself on the PGA Tour. He talks about the differences between the PGA and the European Tour. Mainly, he says that the global nature of the Euro tour means that the guys mostly travel solo, yet as a group from event to event around this crazy rock we call Earth, and in this manner build "camaraderie." Translation: "We get hammered, do blow, and bang Thai hookers together." The wholesome Americans, on the other hand, travel with their snobby families and spoiled kids because it's easier to do that with so little long hails across ten time zones... (You don't fly from South Africa to China on the U.S. Tour. Often, you drive from Orlando to St. Petersburg.) I don't know what camaraderie is, but apparently it enable you to beat Uncle Sam's ass in the Ryder Cup. Bastards.

So, Match Play has ended. Let us give a toast...
Here's to Match Play: The furtive and futile bout of hot foreplay that is interrupted by a six week trip to the bathroom before the five month 'Color Me Badd'-accompanied, white hot lovin' that is the FGA season.

An interesting theory on why there are so few closers on Tour now.

Best of luck, everyone, and here's to Marisa Miller--Not Un-Hot Since 1977.

Is it better to know less?

When it comes to Match Play, we'll find out if it's better to make picks based on hours of research or knowing almost nothing at all. Here is a summary of how Robin (after splitting a pitcher of sangria with me) made her first round Match Play picks:

Woods over Henry - "Woods, duh."
Allenby over Clark, O'Hern over Glover, Howell over Sabbatini, Stenson over Johnson, and Donald over Jimenez - "Because they are ranked higher." (This followed a painful ten minute discussion over seeding, which I think she still doesn't understand).
Baddeley over Katayama and Pettersson over Choi - "Asians can't play golf."

Mickelson over Green - "Phil!!!" (ASU ties)
Campbell over Rose - "Is Campbell the funny looking New Zealand guy who smiles a lot? (giggling) I like him."
Clarke over Garcia - "People don't play golf in Spain."
Howell III over Appleby - "Howell III reminds me of Gilligan's Island."
Dredge over Els - "People play golf in Wales more than in South Africa.'
Poulter over Bryant - "Poulter is like poultry, so I'm picking him."
Bjorn over Immelman - "Bjorn, because it sounds like the singer girl who wore the bird suit."
DiMarco over Wetterich - "Because it's 6 versus 11."

Furyk over Quigley - "How do you pronounce that? (Me: "Furyk") Furyk, since I've heard of him."
Campbell over Cabrera - "Because he's the underdog and from the US."
Love III over Crane - "I like Love, it makes me smile."
Oberholser over Toms - "Oberholser, because it's funny."
Singh over Rollins - "I guess they play golf in Fiji, because they have lots of resorts."
Karlsson over Ames - "Who plays golf more, Swedes or Canadians? It's too cold to play golf in Canada and I've never heard of any golf courses in Canada."
Harrington over Westwood - "Got to go for the Irish guy."
Cink over Singh - "(Laughing) His last name is Cink. Done."

Scott over Micheel - "Because he's ranked #1."
Pampling over Yang - "Koreans don't play golf."
Casey over Weir - "Canadian versus English? English."
Monty over Edfors - "Is this a Scottish guy? He's got to be in there."
Verplank over Goosen - "Verplank! It sounds like if you dropped a remote off the couch. We'll go with Verplank because it's funny."
Durant over Fasth - "US."
Ogilvy over Stricker - "Ogilvy because it's a hair care product from the '80's."
Goydos over Olazabal - "His name is Maria? Pansy."

The Golden Bear

Here's a good interview with Jack Nicklaus from Golf Digest, where he talks a little smack, saying there aren't as many closers on tour as when he played. He points out how so many guys falter down the stretch. Interesting, especially considering the interview was done before Phil lost it again on the stretch at Riviera.

Here's a bit about Match Play being upset heaven. There are a lot of upsets here, of course, but the problem is that it's hard to pick them. You want to pick J.J. Henry to beat Tiger every time, but it seems like you pick a few upsets, like Paul Goydos going to the semifinals, and then Vijay wins the thing. That's why it's hard. That's why it's golf. That's why it's the FGA. If you don't like it...

GO PLAY INTRAMURALS, BROTHER! IT'S DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL! IT'S THE BIG TWEEALVE!

(Warning, loud volume. Funny! No bad language, though.)

What a Wild and Woolly Weekend

Well, it was a wild wild weekend in the world of golf. I was on a bender over the weekend that by Sudnay left me without a voice or the emotional fortitude to even leave my apartment. So, it was all I could do to watch golf on my couch, under a blanket and afraid of the future . From this I learned that I am officially too old to go out until 2 AM two nights in a row, and that my couch is eight inches short than me, which sucks generaly, but which really starts to suck after six hours.

While I lounged on the leather-bound Oriental torture device that is my sofa, I got to see most of a great round at the Nissan Open, including a three-hole playoff between FIGJAM and Chucky Three Sticks that was a lot like my golf game--it involved hitting off a cartpath, into a tree, and
a choke job. CH3 (not to be confused with CB4), pulled out his second career victory. The interesting thing is, Mickelson and Chip Howell could very well meet again this week at the Accenture Match Play Championship. Lefty will have to beat Richard Green and the winner of Michael Campbell v. Justin Rose while Chipper has to beat Stuart Appleby and either Sergio Garcia or Darren Clarke. Howell probably has a much tougher road to hoe, but he's playing about the best golf of his career right now, so we'll wait with bated breath.

On another, better, note, here's Marissa Miller and Sarah Spain at the SI Swimsuit party in Vegas this weekend at the Great American Vice-Off that was the NBA All-Star game in Las Vegas this weekend.

Chow Down

At the "Enjoy Jakarta!" Indonesian Open, S.S.P. Chowrasia is tied for 6th after the first round. Play was postponed for rain and high wind (read typhoon!) and a man-eating tiger attack on the eighth hole.

Finally, I get a good picture of S.S.P. What does it stand for? Possibly:


Samuel Steve Paulson
Singh Singh Peter
Stop Serving Pickles
Super Super Pakistani
Sean Steve Prahmaddhammabad

(chowr)ASIAN Tour

S.S.P. Chowrasia will be in full effect at this week's Indonesian Open in Jakarta. Did you know that:

• Danny Chia in the 2006 event made an albatross on the first hole, his tenth, in round one, holing his second shot on the par five, with a five iron. His albatross was one of six on the 2006 European Tour, which set a new record for most albatrosses in a single season.

For those of you who thought the Asian Tour was a big deal, the current money leader has won $73,000. I wonder if guys on the Asian Tour are wishing they went to law school...I doubt it.

China has agreed to standardize it's local golf rules to conform with those of the R&A, which governs the sport worldwide...EXCEPT IN THE USA AND MEXICO!! Here stateside, the USGA runs the show. Get used to it, world. See you at the President's Cup.

Here is a very solid draft guide that compiles some crucial FGA stats, including: events played, cuts made, average score, etc.

Finally, here's a lame article about Natalie Gulbis. If you want the gist of it, here it is, "SHE'S HOT AND GOOD AT GOLF."

In case you wanted a picture of Rachel McAdams topless, here are one and one more. (NSFW). The second one is not bad, and I'm pretty sure it's really her.

The World According to Golf, Nissan Open and Accenture News, and the New FGA Sweetheart!

Datsun 280Z - Official Datsun of the Nissan Open

Tiger has elected to skip the Nissan Open, but he will be lonely in doing so as the tournament has eight of the world's top ten golfers in the field. Set your TiVOs to the golf channel. Mickelson will join world number two Furyk, third-ranked Adam Scott, Ernie Els (four), Retief Goosen (five), Vijay Singh (seven), Luke Donald (eight) and Padraig Harrington (nine) at Riviera for the Feb. 15-18 event.

Here find a projected bracket for the Accenture Match Play Championship. Note that Aaron Oberholser's bad back is shaking everything up. Best to move Aaron from "Who?" to "Don't Draft!" in your golf consciousness.

If you don't want to click, here you go:

(1) Tiger Woods v (64) Brett Quigley or JJ Henry; (32) Tim Clark v (33) Robert Allenby; (16) Nick O'Hern v (49) Lucas Glover or Ben Crane; (17) David Howell v (48) Rory Sabbatini or Lucas Glover; (8) Luke Donald v (57) Miguel Angel Jimenez or John Rollins; (25) Shingo Katayama v (40) Aaron Baddeley; (9) Henrik Stenson v (56) Zach Johnson or Miguel Angel Jimenez; (24) KJ Choi v (41) Carl Pettersson

(4) Phil Mickelson v (61) Bradley Dredge or Richard Green; (29) Michael Campbell v (36) Justin Rose; (13) Sergio Garcia v (52) Darren Clarke or Thomas Bjorn; (20) Stuart Appleby v (45) Charles Howell; (5) Ernie Els v (60) Charl Schwartzel or Bradley Dredge; (28) Ian Poulter v (37) Bart Bryant; (12) Trevor Immelman v (53) Thomas Bjorn or Steve Stricker; (21) Chris DiMarco v (44) Brett Wetterich

(2) Jim Furyk v (63) Shaun Micheel or Brett Quigley; (31) Angel Cabrera v (34) Chad Campbell; (15) Davis Love v (50) Ben Crane or Mike Weir; (18) David Toms v (47) Arron Oberholser or Rory Sabbatini; (7) Vijay Singh v (58) John Rollins or Scott Verplank; (26) Robert Karlsson v (39) Stephen Ames; (10) Padraig Harrington v (55) Lee Westwood or Zach Johnson; (23) Stewart Cink v (42) Jeev Milkha Singh

(3) Adam Scott v (62) Richard Green or Shaun Micheel; (30) Yang Yong-eun v (35) Rod Pampling; (14) Paul Casey v (51) Mike Weir or Darren Clarke; (19) Colin Montgomerie v (46) Johan Edfors; (6) Retief Goosen v (59) Scott Verplank or Charl Schwartzel; (27) Joe Durant v (38) Niclas Fasth; (11) Geoff Ogilvy v (54) Steve Stricker or Lee Westwood; (22) Jose Maria Olazabal v (43) Paul Goydos

Check out www.waggleroom.com for a nice bit about The Wop Genius's impressive 31 Top-10 finishes without a victory. This is like dating a new girl every week, but never getting laid...but enough about my love life.

Things are winding down for Fred Couples who withdrew from the Pro-Am at Pebble Beach with an unspecified injury. My money is on his back, which holds up about as well over time as this.

Finally, just when you thought it couldn't get hotter, more of the FGA's new favorite, Rachel McAdams:

Message from the Commish

Once again this year, the FGA will be determining draft order for the FGA season by the Match Play Championship. The Match Play Championship is next week! That means one week from today I will be sending out the Match Play tournament bracket for each of you to complete. Email back to me your completed bracket, then watch as the top seeds and your hopes for a top draft pick crumble like Michelle Wie's wrist (the preceding does not apply to Toby, as I already have him penciled in for a top-3 pick). I will send more information later this week. Let me know if you have any questions.

Just a Tadd

In case you thought I forgot about him, I'm still on the nascent career of Tadd Fujikawa. In case you were wondering, he won the Pearl Open this week...whatever that is. He also wobbles, but he won't fall down.

B-B-B-Birdie! (or... Take Out the Trash B-B-B-Boy or I'll B-B-B-Beat You With a Toaster!)

The AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am was started by famous crooner Bing Crosby in 1937. Bing was alleged by his son, Gary, to have been an abusive father. Bing's other son, Phillip, vigorously disputes this claim, saying his brother made the allegations out of greed in order to sell his book, Going My Own Way. I don't know what the truth is. What I know is that I was spanked with: rulers, wooden spoons and, on one occasion, a 2-1/2 foot architectural T-square. I deserved it, but such action would bring CPS on the scene quicker than news of a pool party at Tommy Lee's place would today. I grew up in the late-'70s and early-'80s, so I can only imagine that in the '50s and early '60s, the surgeon general was probably advising the nation to brand their children with forks heated on gas stoves for spilling their milk. (A treatment also known as Hell Night at the Phi Delt house...) I don't judge Bing in either case, because what I know of him (thanks to Wikipedia) is that the guy was a golf afficionado. How much of a golf-thingy was he, smart guy? you ask? Well, check this out:

"Shortly after 6:00 p.m. on October 14, 1977, Bing Crosby died instantly when he suffered a massive heart attack after a round of eighteen holes of golf in Madrid, Spain. He was 74 years old. His last words were reported as, "That was a great game of golf, fellas." However, according to his companions and recorded by biographer Gary Giddens, Crosby then said, "Let's go get a Coke.""

Let me say this: Whether his last words were "That was a great game of golf, fellas," or "Let's go get a Coke," or "Let's go get some coke," if you told me I could die after 18 holes of golf in Madrid, but had to go tomorrow, I would take the deal like 5-for-$5.55 at Arby's.

And let's not forget Bing's love of soft drugs. Again, from Wikipedia:

"Crosby reportedly overindulged in alcohol in his youth, and may have been dismissed from Paul Whiteman's orchestra because of it. He later got a handle on his drinking, but his first wife Dixie Lee was an alcoholic. A 2001 biography of Crosby by Village Voice jazz critic Gary Giddins says that Louis Armstrong's influence on Bing "extended to his love of marijuana." Bing smoked it during his early career when it was legal and "surprised interviewers" in the 1960s and 70s by advocating its decriminalization, as did Armstrong. According to Giddins, Bing told his son Gary to stay away from alcohol ("It killed your mother") and suggested he smoke pot instead. Gary said, "There were other times when marijuana was mentioned and he'd get a smile on his face." Gary thought his father's pot smoking had influenced his easy-going style in his films. Crosby also smoked two packs of cigarettes a day until his second wife made him stop. He finally quit smoking his pipe and cigars following lung surgery in 1974.

Nice. This guy needs to become, and pending approval of the Commish shall hereafter be known as, The Honorary Commissioner Emeritus of the FGA.

Turning now to his tournament, FIGJAM won this year's Pebble Beach Pro-Am with a vicious late round charge. In short, he ran away with the fucker. Let there be no doubt about it--the guy is good. According to the afore-linked article, Phil took 3 months off golf after the U.S. Open. To the rest of us, this is known as "winter" but to Phil it's a sabbatical. I think this explains his slow start this year, and may contibute to this being a strong year for him. Here's the leaderboard:

1	Phil Mickelson	-20	F	$990,000	65	67	70	66	268
2	Kevin Sutherland	-15	F	$594,000	72	63	67	71	273
3	John Mallinger	-14	F	$374,000	65	70	68	71	274
T4	Greg Owen	-12	F	$242,000	68	70	71	67	276
T4	Davis Love III	-12	F	$242,000	70	67	70	69	276
T6	Matt Kuchar	-11	F	$184,250	72	69	70	66	277
T6	Jim Furyk	-11	F	$184,250	67	65	76	69	277
T6	Corey Pavin	-11	F	$184,250	68	72	67	70	277
T9	Ryan Armour	-10	F	$154,000	68	71	72	67	278
T9	Ted Purdy	-10	F	$154,000	73	70	68	67	278
T11	Camilo Villegas	-9	F	$116,600	73	70	69	67	279

Question: Phil will likely play more tournaments than Tiger this year, especially considering that Tiger's half-human, half-Norse deity child is to be born in June. Given this, and his "New Phil" golf attitude, which will likely be accentuated by his Mama Cass-like choke at the U.S Open, is Phil the first pick this year over Tiger in the FGA Draft.?

Think about it. That's all I'm saying. Also, think about a blonde Rachael McAdams...

Wie Injures Wrist...So Do I

Michelle Wie has broken her wrist, and will be sidelined for at least a month.

Book Your Tickets Now

As Alan Shipnuck [D.A.] points out, the FBR open will be in Phoenix next year the same week as the Super Bowl. The question is, at today's prices, how can you afford NOT to go? And if this selection of the gallery from this year's tournament is any indication, I will be there. And I will still, somehow, be 29 to anyone who asks...


CNN notes that John Rollins has put in some work in the off-season. Might be worth a late pick?

"Although firmly established as a two-time winner in six PGA Tour seasons, John Rollins wanted more after last season. He analyzed the techniques and practice routines of top players. He hooked up with Vijay Singh's trainer, hired David Rawls as his new caddie, consulted with his swing instructor and mental coach. Then he went to the Mercedes-Benz Championship and put all those new ingredients into play. Five weeks later, he's enjoying his status as FedEx Cup leader."

Chowrasia Chokes

WGDAP?'s favorite Asian Tour superstar, S.S.P. Chowrasia, is not taming the cobra today, as he is +5 after 13 holes at the Malaysian Open, which due to the time zone differential is taking place in March 2008, and is already on the Sunday round.

I know Asian mores and taboos are different, but this story from the PGA European Tour's website is a little strange:

"Teenage Thai leads as storms hits Maybank Malaysian Open"

If there's one thing I think of when I hear the term "Teenage Thai," it mediocre golf. Btw, the leader's name? Chinarat Phadungsil, of course. Campbell, Clarke and Bjorn are above the cut line, but not playing great. Play has been interrupted by lightning...and man-eating tigers.

Did you know...

• Thongchai Jaidee, winner in 2004 and 2005 will be aiming for his third win in the event. Should he succeed, the Thai player would be only the second player in European Tour history to win the same event for their first three European Tour titles, following Tom Watson (1975, 77, 80 Open Championship).
• The Maybank Malaysian Open became part of The European Tour International Schedule in 1999 and was the first co-sanctioned event between The European Tour and Asian Tour, played at the Saujana Golf and Country Club, won by American Gerry Norquist. To date this will be the 38th official tournament hosted between the two Tours.

Speaking of Asian...

Live from Pebble Beach

Well, not live...and not from actually, but this post is about the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am. Top five are:

1. John Mallinger - Has played seven events and made three cuts in his life. Has earned about $40,000 on the Tour since 2002. He will choke.
   
2. Nick Watney - On the Tour since 2002, Watney has ten top-10 finished in his career and has earned a cool $2.1 mil in his career.
   
3. Phil Mickelson - Has really been in the dregs since the U.S. Open "incident" last season. He's been dismal this year, finishing T-45, T-51 and cut in three tourneys this season until now. It looks like he's found his stroke. It will be interesting to see how his play develops over this tournament and until the Masters for FIGJAM. A little trivia about Phil-he's left handed.
   
4. Arjun Atwal - He's from India. I wonder if he know S.S.P. Chowrasia??
   
5. Jason Schultz - Has been on the Tour only sporadically since 1996. His highest finish was T-24 at the now-defunct B.C. Open last year (doesn't count) and 26th at the Zurich in New Orleans last year (barely counts). Seriously, this guy's not good.

Also playing well are Easy On the Listerine and the currently-hot Aaron Baddeley. Notably sucking balls is Fred Couples who withdrew, probably because his back fell out of his ass.

Interesting blog of the events on the course today. Apparently Chris O'Donnell has a hell of a golf swing, and a giant tree fell over unexpectedly, scattering the gallery, but injuring no one. Not even George Lopez, although if it had the world would be funnier.

If I had to guess, and I don't because I read it, Bill Murray was a codescending jerk to anyone he perceived not to be a celebrity and was no doubt "on" throughout the tournament, playing overly comedic schtick anytime a camera was on him, or any was looking at him, at all, ever. Dude, we get it, you're a comedic genius and a great actor!