Calling All Sepoys!

The Royal Holy Imperial Union of Golfing and Worldwide Economic and Social Subjugation, also known as the PGA European Tour, begins it swing through steaming, overcrowded, environmentally degraded, dangerous, smelly, cilantro-flavored Southeast Asia this week at the Maybank Malaysian Open. The event is held this year at the Saujana Golf and Country Club in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. The course is just down the road from the hundreds of acres of tin and cardboard shack slums housing (barely) tens of thousands of poor, exploited Malays. Meanwhile, visiting Eurotrash will be feasting on roasted leopard and drinking the finest liquors from the House of Hennessey to celebrate their success.

This is a pretty thin field. Notables include Lee Westwood, Michael Campbell, Darren Clarke, Graeme MacDowell and Thomas Bjorn. However, these guys with funny names will also be playing:

• Thaworn Wiratchant
• Guarev Ghai
• Chawalit Plaphol
• Prom Meesawat
• Thammanoon Srirot
• S.S.P. Chowrasia (This is not a joke. Not only is his first name THREE initials, [the Commish and I have a penchant for initialed golfers, e.g., D.A. Points, K.J. Choi, J.B. Holmes], but his last name sounds like a continent. I, for one, would love to visit Chowrasia.)
• Periasamy Gunasagaran
• Frederick Anderssen Hed
• Francois Delamontagne
• Mohd Amli Mohd Mohiyaden

So load up your Gin and Tonics, be sure to go heavy on the tonic as the quinine wards off malaria, and get ready for some great Euro action this week.